keep moving, Zambia day 4

You don’t get much of an update tonight because I’m in full blown “move” mode. Let me just say a few things. I failed today. My prayer was to only focus on what was from God and forget everything else. That didn’t happen.

Our meeting at 9 am was exactly what we wanted. God answered a prayer: We had clearance to leave and we were on cloud 9. We left to get a letter required for us to pick up the children and we hit a new roadblock that appears to be just as large as the last one. We spent 5 hours with Social Welfare officer trying to fix this and it didn’t happen. I keep telling Tori that we are back to square 1, but she doesn’t feel that way (Tori: The enemy will NOT win this). I lost my cool and was pretty rude to some people that didn’t deserve it. On top of this mess, we ended up not being able to re-book our flights so all that money is gone (yet another roadblock). I was literally at the end of my rope. I was ready to throw in the towel. Tori was trying to encourage me and I was telling her to stop. I didn’t want to hear anything from anyone. I was done!

We went to the US Embassy and got a few documents and spoke to our contact. I wasn’t in the mood to hear his positive outlook but as I sit here right now I’m thankful for it. Since we didn’t make our flight today I was originally planning on leaving on Friday regardless of what happened. I miss Tori and Ivan. I just want our whole family to be together and I do not have much left in my tank. On the drive back to the hotel today, I think I may have said 5 words and only because I had to.

I don’t know what happened, but when we got back here I just started reaching out again to everyone I could think of, playing every angle I could think of. I felt like I was done emotionally, but I can’t give up. I can’t stop. As the night went on I started softening my stance on leaving so I’ve extended my trip to next Wednesday. At this point I’m praying that God could make it happen before then because I can’t afford to keep paying for flights I’m not going to take and living in a hotel. The three of us re-grouped on tomorrow and we have decided to divide and conquer. Rick and Becky are going to go talk to immigration and I’m going to go walk the halls of the Social Welfare office apologizing for my rudeness and then sitting at the director’s office until he will give me 30 minutes of his time.

I talked with Tori tonight and she really spoke into me. She talked about how we prayed so much for the positive decision today and God delivered. So today wasn’t a loss, it was a win. He answered our prayer. Now our prayer is still the same, but it’s for the folks that have to give us permission to take our kids. For favor, for softened hearts, and for God to open a door. We want to pray specifically for the Director of the Social Welfare office, for God to make light in that situation and remove that road block.

So here I go again, time for round 10. Time to saddle up and regain some focus and trust that he still has a plan. God will deliver. We still believe. This is a spiritual battle and the enemy will not win, especially the battle over our heart.